I'll never forget flinging back the covers, jumping out of bed...running...he's holding Eli's limp body in his arms, pushes him into my arms and tells me to do CPR. I feel frozen. He's calling 911. I'm doing chest compressions. Breathing into his mouth. Water coming out of his mouth, fluid out of his nose. "That's it baby, get it out. It's gonna be okay." Cheeks turning blue and purple, his tiny gums are blue. The breath coming back out of him smells bad. Nothing's working, no pulse. Now I'm crying "God please give me back my baby!! Eli please wake up!!" Eerily silent in my backyard. EMS shows up, tells me to step aside. I yell "I'm not stopping until you're starting!" They begin cpr, cut open his shirt and apply pads. I see the girl doing compressions with one hand- was I doing it wrong? They take him away and I ask to go with the ambulance. The cop says I have to stay for questioning. We wait and wait for hours. Im holding his Mickey Mouse doll and sitting on the couch. Female cop enters my house. "Im so sorry, but Elijah didn't make it." I'm in the office, on the floor, wailing, sobbing, dead inside.
The rest is fuzzy.
The rest is fuzzy.
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